Women's Head Shaving - Dorothy's Life Lesson
By J. Rankin
There is one particular women's head shaving need I want to tell you about.
So I will tell you about Dorothy.
My friend Dorothy has had cancer for eight years. She has had four relapses, and in that time has undergone the equivalent number of chemotherapy treatments.
Each time her hair has begun to fall off. So she has been forced to shave her head.
As an outsider I feel for her - but whatever I feel, it can be nothing compared to what she is going through (what any cancer victim goes through).
I sometimes think that the after effects of the therapy are worse than the illness.
These side effects, apart from the physical reactions they cause, also include psychological effects.
One of these is directly related to a person's dignity.
Perhaps the friend I admire the most is Dorothy. For eight years she has carried this sentence of death with heroism, the utmost dignity, with admirable humor and above all with faith and courage.
She is not the sort of person who hides behind self pity, or communicates her illness continuously so as to receive people's pity.
No, quite the contrary, she doesn't hide it ( although it would be difficult even if she tried as her head is shaven and after eight years her vitality isn't the same), but she doesn't make a production out of it either.
She has this amazing ability to put people at ease.
She loves life and lives with a dignity many healthy people should try to emulate.
She was telling me once, while putting me at ease - incredible - that the only real difference is that she knows in her mind, in her heart and at every waking moment, that she will die. Exactly when she doesn't know. But it will be sooner that later.
The large majority of us know intellectually that we will die. But we are not conscious of this, we put it aside and try to ignore this unchangeable fact of life.
This has given her a freedom of action, in fact I'll be more precise, this has given her absolute freedom.
She does as she thinks and feels.
So Dorothy is a woman who is surrounded by people because she is someone who knows how to love. How to love others and how to love life. She is always aware of those who are near her.
She immediately notices when someone is in pain; when someone needs a kind word; when someone needs to be loved. She is always there for them.
She is great at hugging.
The first time she was diagnosed with cancer and started her therapy, her beautiful hair started to fall off.
In all the time I have known her, this was perhaps the most trying time for her. The shock and then the loss of hair, although in the wider sense of things, of so little importance, made her feel she also lost her dignity.
Painful times have come and gone, though she is still in pain.
Her hair fell off by the handful, but straggling tufts remained. She wore hats and knitted caps to hide this. She became a recluse. She was scared and feeling sorry for herself.
Then a friend, also with cancer, visited her and shaved her hair for her. I have never been sure if she even asked permission or if she just did it. But the short and long term effect has been beautiful to see.
In the short term, once Dorothy's hair had gone leaving a beautifully shaven head, Dorothy held herself up again.
The long term effect began when she realized and appreciated that someone else, her shaving friend so to speak, gave her back her dignity, reflected in her physical appearance, but really given as an expression of love.
A love that does not need or expect anything in return. A generous love.
Her friend with cancer could easily have stayed within herself. Instead, like Dorothy today, she chose to give to others.
Today, and I have to say today, Dorothy lives as her friend, now deceased, taught her. By giving to others.
It may seem very strange to say this, but her life really took shape after she was diagnosed. No, - correction, I have it backwards - she took charge of her life.
Dorothy's life is a verb. It is action. And her verb is love.
Today, Dorothy proudly shaves her head. She no longer wears strange head gear to hide her shame.
She wears peculiar hats and caps because she likes to, and only when it is cold.
I could tell you many things about Dorothy, my shaven gal; how she cut herself when she tried out a razor. Her humorous approach to finding her electric shaver. (She is lovingly dangerous to others with her shaver, as my previous beard found out).
But that isn't important.
What is important is that we can follow, in our own way, Dorothy's example and live every day as if it were our last. We can even shave our heads (or not) as we please.